Lover

Song no. 2 on "None and All"

Soon would I have left,
would I have turned again on my heel
and learned to live with death—
to live alone again, to take my meals
when fate deigns to provide them—
if not for you (if not for you).

And long did I look back,
did I fabricate reasons to delay,
to keep you in my view;
oh, how many days did I dither away
searching for a sign
that you wished to leave,
to leave with me?

I saw you shine in each and all their eyes
when you passed us by; I saw their laughter
hide their smiles, and a hard old crone
turning back into a child; I had played
their fool for long enough to know
what you must be (what you must be).

A lone soldier that takes the field
at break of dawn; a banner that waves,
a sword and shield, a marching song,
and a horn that blows for every hour
the walls still stand. You’ll be the first
one through; they will fall by your hand.

Some just wait and watch
while you dance with death; with bated breath,
some pray and some protest to all the ways
you make your presence known
and press them to their ground.
But don’t you find it strange,
does it not confound
that after each exchange,
once they’ve buried their dead,
bound their wounds and returned,
when you count their heads,
they’d yet grown again?
When will you learn?

That yours is the blade
that will give as it takes,
that will stoke a flame
where the embers once waned,
that will free the old
from the burdens of age.
Eyes will shine, and a smile
will light up their face,
for the devil they know
has graced them with pain.

And soon, you will ask yourself
how much they weigh:
the sword and shield, the horns of war,
the banner you wave.
How long before your strength
begins to fade?
How much of life to give
for the final say?

I cannot have you now,
not as you are;
I cannot gain ingress
to your armoured heart,
nor ask that you allow them
to work their art;
you must wage your war,
and I must depart.

But if you find me when its done,
when your arms hang limp,
when with the light of the setting sun
your spirits dim,
when your world has in darkness plunged—
I’ll take you in.
Naked as when we had come,
our skin will only know skin.